What to Do When Everyone is Eavesdropping Your Engagement
Alright, so let’s just get something straight. A guy smiling when asked if he’s going to pop the question to his girl doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. At least, that’s what our feelings are on the matter. All the rest of the Selena and Justin fans out there might disagree with us, because they are SHOOOOOOK over a video that the gossip fiends at TMZ got their hands on.
In a legit 10-sec spot, Justin is seen leaving a 90210 restaurant when a paparazzi stalks him and asks whether he’ll be proposing to Selena anytime soon… You know, because they ‘make a really good couple.’ Being classy and gentleman-like, J just smiles (ADORABLY, BTW) and just jumps into his car to peace the eff out.
Granted, it was a super cute exchange, but it doesn’t confirm this twosome is any closer to becoming fiancés. Hate to break it to you, Jelena shippers, but it’s the same old love, guys 😉
Anyway, this all just brings back vivid memories from the months before I got engaged. I had been dating my now husband for 6.5 years, and I was SO OVER not being engaged yet. Like, actually started throwing out some ultimatums (sorry, honey, know I was a royal pain in the ass) about not having a ring on my finger yet. It went something like this, “Babe, if I see another friend get engaged and post about it on Facebook, we are so done.” Yes… It was mean, but I was through with playing the waiting game. I just wanted an engagement ring, a future wedding to look forward to, and my man to finally be my fiancé.
Didn’t help that everyone in my family, friend circle, sorority sisters, etc. made a point to ask my guy when that all-important question was coming whenever they’d see us together. And now looking back on it, I have all the feels for him. His girlfriend was being a total B, and he was feeling stressed to death. Everything became awkward from that day after.
SO. While you’re sitting and waiting for Jelena engagement news to actually become a reality (and, of course, we livvvveee for that, don’t get it twisted!), we’ve been brainstorming ways for couples to make it out alive when everyone in their lives is putting pressure on their impending (or maybe not even) engagement.
All this being said, if Justin really does have plans to put a ring on it, YAY, then Selena can start calling dibs on wedding dresses.
Photo from: @selemonay
try not to give them too much to wonder about
Really, Justin didn’t give the paparazzi anything to make assumptions about, but even a smile seems to be telling… So, if you’re in that dating-soon-to-be-engaged stage, try not to let on that you’re really close to taking that next step. Otherwise, the first time you post a picture of you two holding hands, reveling in the holidays with champs and other celebratory props, you’re likely to have people snooping on ALL your things and making comments about your are-they-aren’t-they engagement. Just keep your relationship off the radar. Photographers: Tanja Heffner on Unsplash
stay off social media for a hot sec
We’ve said this sooo many other times, but it’s sooo important. If you’re anything like I was and feeling envious AF at all the proposals you’re seeing online - engagement selfies, in a relationship to engaged status changes, stay off the social map. You don’t want to upset yourself and/or end up blowing up at your S.O. because he or she hasn’t popped the question yet. Seriously, it’s not too hard to imagine seeing a friend get engaged and then tagging your soulmate with an ‘umm where’s mine mister?’ mandate. Your relationship should be safe from social media. Photographers: Annie Spratt on Unsplash
tell your family to chill with the commentary
Whether you’re soon-to-be engaged or single over the holidays, the same rules apply when it comes to censoring your relatives. No one wants to be harassed about their relationship business. Even if you kind of want your fam or friends to light a little fire under your partner’s ass, it really isn’t their place to be keeping tabs on when you decide to tie the knot. So don’t even feel bad about asking them to STFU. Your future spouse will thank you for this.
Photographers: Kristina Flour on Unsplash
have an open and honest convo with your cutie
So it really doesn’t seem like Jelena is in a rush to make it to the altar, BUT. Upon seeing a video of my bae smiling like crazy after he was asked whether he’d be proposing soon, I’d be pretty intrigued to know his intentions. Selena might not, but every other woman probs would. In this case, you definitely want to catch up with your boyfriend or girlfriend and have a candid chat about where you guys are headed. You’ll want to be on the same page - whether that means you’re both imagining an engagement at some point or just continuing with something casj.
Photographers: Freestocks.org on Unsplash
find some distractions
Okay, it doesn’t help to have someone say ‘get over it’ if you’re feeling stressed about your ringer finger sans ring. But, it’s sort of strategic. You need to get your mind off the possibility of your lover proposing, so find some ways to get distracted. Whether you need to throw yourself into work, make time with friends, get into the holiday shopping spirit (even it it means painting a fake smile on your face and pretending to be okay). Once you get preoccupied, you can stick it out a little longer. Photographers: Rawpixel.com on Unsplash