How to Handle Your Fiancé’s (Girl) Friend Coming to the Wedding
Remember when we couldn’t stop gushing over Property Brothers Drew Scott, his fiancée Linda Pham, and their adorable relationship? #TheCoupleThatDancesTogether. Well, we’ll do it again, because these two are the epitome of #couplegoals. Just this week, Drew chatted with PEOPLE and shared that his partner, Emma Slater, was “100%” on the list and coming to their wedding. He even mentioned that she and her own fiancé, Sasha Farber, would be teaching them their first dance.
The two engaged couples are blissfully in love and neither one of Drew or Emma’s fiancés exhibits any bitterness about or jealousy over their apparent closeness. Even though things can go that way, ahem, Robert and Kym (yah, we’re looking at you); they are partners and solid salsa dancers, but nothing more!
It got us thinking, though, how do couples deal when one of them has a close friend (of the opposite sex, no less) coming to the wedding. The age-old, Harry Met Sally situation comes to mind: can men and women ever just be friends? Drew and Emma make it seem possible, and Linda and Sasha -- major kudos to you for staying so cool.
But for anyone out there who might be the least bit jealous or even slightly ambivalent about the scenario, it’s okay, we got you. Read on for some ideas on how to deal and you’ll be starting marriage off on the right foot as the happiest couple. If you think conflict or confrontation is inevitable, though, you can be armed for that too!
Photographers: Cayton Heath on Unsplash
talk about it
If you feel even a tiny bit weird about one of your guy’s close friends coming to your wedding, make sure you communicate that to your partner. Let him know that you’re a little uneasy and share some reasons why, because crossing them off the guest list just because you’re jelly just isn’t going to fly. If you can validate why you’re feeling meh about the sitch, your love will appreciate it and take your feelings into consideration.
Maybe your fiancé had a thing with this chick way before your time, maybe she’s done some drunk dialing one too many times and you’ve been there to witness the calls (regardless of how platonic they were). These are all valid concerns, so let your fiancé hear where you’re coming from. You might not get out of having them there, but you’ll at least raise a flag - and get bonus points for being a calm, cool and collected #bossaboutit.
Photographers: Alex Holyoake on Unsplash
MAKE A NEW FRIEND
You know the saying, keeps your friends close, but your enemies closer? Well it kind of applies here… Not saying that you have to be frenemies with any of your fiancé’s besties, but it might help ease your mind if you can get to know this girl. Invite her out for a coffee date, or drinks after work. Get a gauge on how she feels about your boo, and how she’s talking about your wedding. If she mentions how “cute of a couple” you are more times than you can count, then you have nothing to worry about. But seriously, don’t take it too seriously. Nine times out of 10, this person is a harmless buddy your fiancé hangs out with on occasion. They’re probably so psyched to see you guys tie the knot, and they just can’t wait to be able to double date in the future!
Photographers: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
INVITE THE FRIEND WITH A PLUS ONE
If you’re truly concerned about your fiancé’s friend attending your wedding, make sure her invite is addressed with a guest. If she RSVPs with a confirmed +1, you’ll definitely breathe a little easier. If not, and she signs on to coming stag, then do the girl a solid and put her at the table with all the rest of your single-and-ready-to-mingle friends. Best case scenario - she’ll hit it off with one of the eligible bachelors, sparks will fly, drinks will be drunk, and there’ll be a bouquet and garter with their names on it come the end of the night. Worst case scenario - she wears a pretty dress, dances with a few randos, and stays away from you guys for the night. Again, if you’re TRULY concerned…. It’s going to be fine. We assure you.
Photographers: Isabela Kronemberger on Unsplash
SQuash any wtf remarks from the fam
We’ve alllll been there. Met a family friend of your fiancé’s and overheard his mom or aunt or sister say “Oh yeah, we always thought Brad would end up with Jenny” (making these names up, btw). It’s awkward to be the girlfriend or fiancée on the other end of that. It’s just rude. So if you have a family friend who might have been destined to be with your guy since childhood, do yourself a favor and squash their chatter before it starts to make you squirm. Consider having a serious conversation with your stud and encourage him to talk to his family about not making any uncomfortable comments during your wedding day. If you’re already feeling weird about this best friend since birth coming to YOUR big day, then you sure as s*** shouldn’t have to endure other people rubbing your face in it.
Photo from: @mrsmelaniebray
REmember your wedding day is the ultimate 'hands off' hint
And if all else fails, oh beautiful bride to be, remember - you’re the bride. Case closed, end of story. You’re saying ‘I Do’ very publicly, and in doing so, you’re basically shutting down ANY opposition. Okay, he’s mine. Buhbyeeee.
Photographers: Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash