WTF – Save the Dates Are Now a Multiple Choice Question?
Ah, welcome to another edition of our ‘WTF was she thinking’ series. Today’s bizarre bride moment is brought to you by a particularly sassy bride who thought it was OK to send a save the date out to her wedding guests with just a few (and we say that with severe sarcasm) requests to file away for the future.
Bridesmaids make beyond-shady requests too…
Let’s start at the top. A save the date is just that, right? For guests to save THE date of your wedding and make sure their calendars are marked appropriately to ensure nothing gets in the way of the celebration. There’s a reason we don’t say save the dates - plural - because it’s not supposed to be a multiple choice situation.
Well, one bride didn’t get the memo. According to The Sun, a very confused user wrote (on a message board in the Am I Being Unreasonable thread), sharing that her cousin had sent her save the dates out - but instead of including the date, she included two… You know, just in case her guests casually wanted to put a hold on two weekends out of their future lives.
It went a little something like this, “Here are our dates we’re considering. Put those plans on hold. With love, XYZ.”
So matter of fact.
It was then followed up with a second absurd appeal. “Keep color schemes orange/white or maybe pink in mind.”
Basically half the rainbow, okay. And do you want us to wear those colors or should we avoid them?!? What is your thought process, because we don’t seem to be on the same page?
The post caused a lot of chatter, mostly from readers who thought this bride deserved a quick kick in the arse (yes, arse, she was British). And we’d pretty much agree. So, we’ve put together a few tips for brides teetering on the edge of similarly unashamed entitlement.
wait to send a std until you're sold on a single one
This isn’t rocket science. You shouldn’t be monopolizing your guests’ social calendars, because they wouldn’t ask you to do the same. So, instead of throwing out a few dates that feel right to you, just pick one and be happy with it. All of your peeps will lock your date up, so don’t worry, and also don’t hold them hostage. It’s just not nice. If you’re still deciding on that perfect day in June or that ideal September half-summer, half-fall date, then just take a breath, don’t rush it!
refrain from giving guests too many things to think about
One user gave this bride the benefit of the doubt, explaining that perhaps she included two dates as a way to have guests keep their calendars flexible for other pre-wedding events. That’s a good thought, but we don’t think so. If you already have dates in mind for your shower or bachelorette party, then talk about things the old fashioned way. Get on Facebook and start a group chat, or Google Hangout with your girls and discuss the weekends you’re interested in. These events don’t have a place on your save the date. Period.
be clear with your dress code
If you’re going to implement a dress code for the day (like Cardi B. and her all-red request), be firm on the ask, don’t confuse your guests. This bride was so unclear about whether she wanted or didn’t want her guests wearing ensembles in the white, orange and pink color palette. So, she’s either going to end up with a crowd showing up to enhance or disgrace her vibe. Pick a color, ONE color, that you’re crazy about and be deliberate with your request. DO or DON’T wear xyz… And if you really want to get people gassed up about it, make sure the color is highlighted in your save the date, itself, it’ll really help drive the message home.
don't resort to bribery
Let’s be honest, this bride knew what she was doing. To help lighten the blow of her ballsy bidding, she included “personalized biscuits” (sooo, cookies?!) in each batch of save the dates. A nice “Hey, I know I’m coming off hella bridezilla RN, but here are some sweet treats to make up for it xoxo” gesture. It’s cute, but it doesn’t work. Instead of resorting to full-flavored flattery, just pick a date and a color theme and let your guests deal with it. Showing your indecisiveness is just as bad as being outright demanding, and really, you’re the bride; you only really get this time in your life to be bold, so guess we say, own it!