The Secret To A Happy Relationship Or Marriage Is This…
First ... a little background. I discovered Prince Ea, a filmmaker, a speaker and an activist - who BTW graduated Magna Cum Laude from a full scholarship at the University of Missouri St. Louis, with his BA in Anthropology - while in a particularly low and depressed period in my life. It was one of those times where getting out of bed was a next to impossible, eating was a chore and socializing was not appealing whatsoever.
I’m here I want to reach every single heart
on the planet to show them that at our core
we are Love, we are free, and we are one.
- Prince Ea
So many people can relate, I'm sure. Since I was spending a lot of time in bed, I was occupying my time with social media which can be really inspiring or give you indescribable FOMO. Lucky for me, in this particular instance, it was incredibly inspiring. As I mindlessly scrolled through Facebook to pass the time, I came across this video from Prince Ea and it changed everything for me.
It was like a switch was flipped, I changed my mindset and understood his illustration of what being depressed can feel like. I kid you not, I watched then I thought deeply then I GOT OUT OF BED. Since then, I've been an avid follower, I value his words and I wanted to share this with >>> it's Prince Ea's latest video about marriage.
The Secret To A Happy
Relationship Or Marriage Is This...
In it, Prince Ea shares a bit about John Gottman, a marriage expert, who's known for his work on marital stability and divorce prediction. He can spend fifteen minutes with a couple and predict the wether or not a couple will stay together with 94% success. It would be scary AF to meet with him as a couple, would you consider it if you could hear his opinion? John Gottman says that the single most important factor to maintain a happy marriage is attention. Watch this video about giving attention to your partner.
Love. The Answer To Every Problem.
- Prince Ea
You hear it over and over, but it's the small things. The small things you do to make your partner feel loved, cared for, wanted, and considered. These are things that do not cost and take little to no effort. It's not extravagant gifts, trips, experiences, fancy houses and cars that will keep a couple together, but small moments of positive attention. It's about spending time, being considerate and giving your undivided attention to your partner. It's about paying attention and giving it.
What does giving attention look like?
It looks like listening, consideration, eye contact, verbal affirmation, physical affection and attention, showing and telling your partner they are cherished and more. I don't want to toot my own horn ... (toot toot) but I wrote this post not too long ago on seven things you can do for your lady that will blow her mind and I think it speaks to what Gottman is saying.
Don't worry, I'm still a relationship disaster but I'm really good at giving super solid advice (I may have missed my calling as a therapist). BTW - since October it's has 815K unique readers so you might want to check it out. I think I was on the right track as to what can help nurture a strong healthy relationship. It's really easy to look back on failed relationships and take note of what would have made them better. It's not so easy when you're in a relationship to see what's missing.