The 4 Cs Before Marriage
Ami Evans, MA., LPC-S is lending us her expertise today. Your engagement is a sweet season of your life that should be memorable and celebrated. I know you are excited and ready to start the planning of your big event. Have you thought about the marriage planning? I want you to contemplate the significance and implications preparation has for your marriage. You can build a strong and secure marriage before you start. Here is a list of some action steps before you open your wedding planner.
Counseling & Preparation
Marriage preparation and counseling is the best investment for your relationship's future. It will make the difference in how you respond in the for better or worse seasons and it will increase communication and connection in your relationship. Why wouldn't you learn and prepare for the marriage obstacle course in front of you? Athletes don't go into a game until they have been coached, trained and prepared. A premarital course can offer you insights into your relationship patterns, strengths, differences and give you a map for how you navigate through these. Make this appointment before you book anything.
Communicate Values
Have conversations with each other about the important things or top values you hold individually. The more you understand about what your partner values, the more you hear those things in the conflict or disagreements. It gives you something to focus on, instead of hearing the criticism and blame. I learned early on, about my partner he values justice. He has a strong reaction when he perceives an injustice has been done. This enables me to have compassion, instead of frustration. Premarital counseling provides a space for these conversations and others alike that matter in marriage.
Consider Intimacy
In my experience, most people do not understand intimacy and this becomes the goals to learn and implement. What do you think about when you hear the word intimacy? I recommend you ask your soon to be partner this question. It's possible you will have different answers. Some people think sex. This is 1 type of intimacy. Others think of having a personal conversation and sharing intimate details of your life. This would be emotional intimacy. Both of these are different examples and there are plenty others to explore with your fiancé.
Cast a Vision
Share with each other where you see your marriage in 1, 5, 20 years from now. This is called vision-casting. You both have thoughts and dreams about your future and need to decide how the marriage fits into these. You will have personal and relational plans. Then, together set some goals as a couple that will help you reach your dreams. Marriages that have vision and continue to vision cast throughout the relationship have greater satisfaction. Couples feel like they are working towards something together and as they accomplish these, they feel even more connected. Consider this as you plan out each detail of your wedding day.
Prepare your relationship for the future.
Meet Ami Evans
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and Owner of Ami Evans Counseling Group in Grapevine, Texas. My passion and specialization is building strong and secure marriages and families. I recognize most people do not have the best example of a sustaining and thriving marriage. My purpose is to help couples develop a healthy perspective, break destructive patterns, and learn relationship skills that allow growth and deeper connection, whether already married or nearly married.
Ami Evans, MA., LPC-S
Clinical Director & Owner
920 S Main St., Ste 198, Grapevine
Ami Evans Counseling Group
Education
Bachelor of Science in Human Development and Family Studies from Texas Tech University Masters in Marriage and Family Counseling from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary