My Wedding Happened Years Ago, But I Still Have Huge Regrets
I will be married for four years this September, and while it was one of the most wonderful days of my life, I’ll be honest, I have a bunch of regrets. And working in the wedding industry only helps exacerbate them! Going through absolutely incredible real wedding photos every day has a very real way of making someone feel like the grass is always greener, right?!
Sure, it’d be pretty sweet to have an unlimited budget (wonder if there were any regrets to come out of that $10 million wedding. Ya think?), but most of us don’t have that luxury. So, yes, we probably ALL have those ‘I wish I had done my flowers bigger,” “I wish my dress had more bling,” “I wish I could have invited more people” regrets, but when you consider budget realities, it really is what it is. You can’t blame yourselves for the things that lacked, you were a hostage to your budget. This is true for EVERYONE.
But when it comes to other things that you might be regretting - and let’s hope he or she isn’t the person you married (and if it was, so be it, you live and learn, no judgment!) - there are a few things that can really weigh on a person years later. Not spending enough time with family and friends because you were enmeshed in posed pics or freaking out about way too many tiny details ranks really high up on most former bride and grooms’ lists.
We rounded up a few oft-repeated regrets, having talked about it in the office, and wanted to give you all a heads up. Take the feedback to heart, because it might just save you from post-I Do blues in the months to follow. And remember, no one everrrrrr says that they wish they didn’t have so much fun on their wedding day - unless they were blackout drunk or too hungover from the rehearsal dinner to hang - so, if you enjoyed your day, and had a blast, then live in that moment forever!! You spend so much time preparing for this day, and it flies by, so do your best to savor it all.
Anyway, here are some regrets: whether you’re presently a bride-to-be, just got married, have been soaking up your newlywed first year, have a few years under your belt or are celebrating 55+ years happily in love, you might have the exact same feels, other regrets, or none at all. *** Would love to meet anyone who has ZERO regrets, though, that’s impressive.
And one last thing, if you’re on the fence about when to leave for your honeymoon, give yourself a few extra days to get into vacation mode. That’s a regret we hear ALL THE TIME, from couples who legit pour themselves into the plane only hours after their wedding, and end up forgetting things, leaving their passports at home, or getting to the hotel and sleeping for two days straight. It’s never a good idea. Do yourself a favor, and take off a day or two after your wedding to decompress, and then jetset the following week.
Not booking a videographer.
Pretty sure the cinematography profession is in business solely to save couples from having video FOMO following their weddings. 🙋🏻 it’s my biggest regret, by far. I like our wedding photos well enough, but I will never be able to watch the video from my wedding day on each anniversary. I won’t be able to laugh at my sister crawling under my dress in the middle of our ceremony to retrieve my poorly-planned heels, or tear up at her Maid of Honor toast. I made sure to tell her to book a videographer, 100 percent, as a first priority line item in her budget sheet. And while it’s not always in the budget for everyone, professional photos first, of course, at least have some video content of your day. GoPro grabs, iPhone videos, whatever. You’ll appreciate it.
Not planning a first look.
Not sure if the trend just wasn’t AS big when I got married, but not having a first look is something that I’ll forever regret. Yes, I had a religious ceremony, but so what? We could have done a just-him-and-me meeting before we all converged in the church. And we just didn’t. Another one us said that she wishes she had collaborated a little more with her photographer on her first look. Her photographer found a super pretty spot, but it wasn’t private, and that kind of killed the vibe. A first look needs to be intimate, it needs to be honest and authentic - capturing the couple in their happiest, most blissed-out and serendipitous states - and if you have an audience peeping in the background, you’ll feel too vulnerable. You won’t get the shots you want. So, our advice, do a first look, definitively, and make sure you finesse it for flawlessness.
Not going with your gut when it comes to the gown.
I liked my dress a lot, but I landed on it 1) because I was a little too trend-focused and when I saw the ombre wash of blush throughout the skirt, I was 😍 2) I thought I should go with something that would be more shocking, less predictable, everyone in my world foresaw me wearing a ball gown, so that made me feel compelled to find a fit and flare. In doing so, I completely overlooked a gown that was pretty much tailor made for me. It was a tulle ball gown, with simple applique on the bodice, and draped tulle cap sleeves, and it was gorgeous. I can picture myself in it now. Other brides try something on and LOVE it from jump, but push themselves to look at other options, because they think there’s something wrong with impulsivity OR, rather, have a compulsion to try everything else before making a decision. Well, long story short, whenever you feel like something’s ‘just right,’ it usually is. Don’t ignore those feelings.
Not eating or drinking enough.
The food and bev bill will probably be the biggest on your list, and even so, the amount of couples (my husband and myself, included) that say they hardly ate anything at their wedding is astounding. I should have enlisted someone extra to help me stay hydrated and well fed (I have Type 1 diabetes, and found myself fighting high AND low blood sugars all day, because I wasn’t worried about eating), because I barely ate or drank anything on my wedding day. The filet mignon I waited for for months? I don’t think I took more than one or two bites. The signature cocktail I spent weeks strategizing? I might have had half a glass all day? And our wedding cake? I legit didn’t have as much as a nibble. Total fail. This is the day you’ve been getting ready for for months, dieting, fitnessing the f*** out of yourself, giving up all your favorite goodies for, so you should be fêting hard. You don’t want to have to hear your guests gushing over your cocktail hour or freaking out over how great their entrees were, when you and your boo were starved. Just don’t let it happen.
Letting other people’s opinions matter too much.
This one is a more generalist caution, because at the end of the day, everyone will have opinions, preferences and judgments on your wedding. But you need to be able to consider everything and ultimately do whatever you feel best about. Now, we’re not saying that you need to say “Eff you to your family for wanting to invite X, Y, and Z people…” when they’re footing a huge chunk of the bill. But you can’t get overwhelmed by everyone adding their two cents. It’s going to happen no matter what. So, try, if you can, to wade through it and not get discouraged. On of our girls’ best friends wanted to wear a leather jacket on her wedding day (solid choice, BTW), but decided not to, because her mom and grandma weren’t exactly on board with the trend. She now wishes she had ignored their feelings, especially given how many badass, leather-jacket-wearing brides are now blowing up all over Insta. But, she made a judgment call. That’s okay. Leather jackets will look just as good at a 10-year anniversary shoot, we promise you!