How to Pee in Your Dress in 6 Ways or Less
So, a few weeks back, we wrote a story on 5 things you really never knew you’d need for your wedding, and I totalllllly blanked on one of the biggest things that pissed me off about my own wedding. I needed a way to pee in my dress, and I definitely hadn’t strategized that ahead of time. What, with all the other 7000 things a bride is thinking about on the morning of her wedding, something like pee probs kind of just falls off the radar. But it comes back to bite you in the ass, when you’re standing over a bucket holding up your dress (Bethenny Frankel, you gave us all the goals) or having to strip down to your Spanx every time you feel the urge to urinate - that was me, I was that bride. And it was annoying AF.
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Well, a recently-wed and ridiculously-resourceful bride just hacked the s*** out of this problem, with none other than the iconic IKEA FRAKTA big blue bag. And she made it look so easy that we needed to call it out - because 1) brides shouldn’t let bathroom issues ruin their wedding day and 2) we love IKEA too much not to give them some 🙌🙌🙌.
Straight from the hacker herself
“Well, I got married a few weeks ago (in a mermaid wedding dress) and I was really worried about going to the bathroom and not being able to … handle myself. Someone helping or watching me going to the bathroom on my wedding day? Not being able to have free hands to use the toilet paper? Or even worse if my period decides to show? NO WAY! Some stuff like this bridal bathroom helper exists but are expensive just because it is wedding related.
My bridal bathroom helper hack costs about 0.80 euro and I did it the day before my wedding. It took only 3 minutes. What I like best is it’s almost free and allows me to make my life easier on my wedding day. So here is the hack.”
Tina, from all of us, thank you. There are step-by-step instructions and helpful photos to understand how she fashioned this new favorite of ours over on IKEA Hackers. Be sure to check it out, especially if you’re a visual learner! This #somethingblue is everything.
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But it got us thinking about some other ways you can tinkle (whoops, no, we meant tinker) with the toilet situation to make sure you’re not stressed on your wedding day. No joke, this can be like a category 5 catastrophe. So, you’ll want to brush up on the basics. Coming from a bride who had her food taken away because she was preoccupied in the powder room for WAY too long, and missed out on at least 3 amazing songs by the band in the process… Ugh.
We get it, morning mimosas are non-negotiable, but as you’re imbibing remember to flush yourself out as much as you can before you start getting into your gown. If it helps, designate one of your bridesmaids as pee patrol and make sure she reminds you to go throughout the morning - because once the dress in on, it’s game over. Then it’s all about taking advantage of those stretches you have between the ceremony and reception - your photographer will understand if you need to stop photos for a few to do whatcha gotta do. Maybe even consider limiting what you drink during the party portion of the day. If you can. You’ll want to remember all that goes down anyway, so it couldn’t hurt not to be hitting the open bar too hard. Anddddd, you can always go big at the after party, once you’ve changed into something a little easier to drop your panties in. https://media.giphy.com/media/igR5863TALcSk/giphy.gif Optimize the time you’re not in your dress for rapid release.
Rehearse bathroom protocol prior to the wedding.
You know how you’ve been told to break in your wedding shoes before the big day? Well, consider this another trial run of sorts. Make sure your fiancé is out of the house (if you don’t want him/her seeing your dress), and practice peeing in your dress. Put it on and head into the bathroom to master your maneuvering. Whether you need to face the toilet backwards - essentially straddling it, and hold up your train behind you, or whether you need to hold all the tulle, organza, chiffon, etc. high above your waist and keep a cache of toilet paper tucked in the top of your dress for easy access, you’ll get a good feel for how it’ll work on the wedding day. You probably won’t have the opportunity for a ‘dress rehearsal’ at your wedding venue, but we’re confident you can get it right.
Appoint people to be in your potty posse.
Just as we mentioned ☝, you’ll definitely want to have a team in place to help you navigate the bathroom on the big day. Someone who can enforce pee breaks when they’re needed, of course, and one or two others (could even be your mama, if you’re feeling weird about having your girls all up in the stall with ya) to help hold things up, undo the corsetting on your dress quickly (that was a huge time suck for me and my MOH), help unravel TP for you if your hands are full, etc. And try to make sure the group is a well-oiled machine for the most part. That means, at least one of them knows exactly how to re-gown you - maybe even got some lessons from your bridal boutique seamstress, and they’re all kept relatively sober, so that your dress stays pristine while you’re using the potty, and you can take care of business lickety split. That dance floor needs you back, real bad.
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Be prepared for a s*** show.
Okay, so, being ready for anything needs to be a motto all across the board when you’re getting married. Getting pee or (even worse) poo on your wedding dress isn’t a great look. So, try to avoid having the dress make ANY contact with the contents of the toilet. Or whatever might end up on the floor… Not saying that your bathroom floors will be as gross as the ones from college frat houses, hardly, but your guests will probably be turning up at your reception, so a little bit of vom, pee dribbles, or [and we know, don’t even want to say it, but needs to said] period blood on or around the toilet aren’t completely out of the question. If stains ensue, make use of the bathroom amenities baskets that your mother-in-law put together. Tide-to-go FTW. And even a spritz of fabric freshener (JUST A SPRITZ), if anything seems to be lingering…
Ask if you can steal the bridal suite bathroom for the day.
Look, you’re going to be stressed to go to the bathroom in your wedding dress no matter what. Unless you’re wearing something crazily nimble for the nuptials (jersey dresses, something short, etc.), you’ll probably want as much privacy as possible to do the deed(s) - and as quickly as possible. So, it wouldn’t be completely awk if you had to ask your venue coordinator/concierge or wedding planner whether it’d be okay to have access to the bridal suite - one with its own bathroom, most specifically - for the duration of the day. That way, you can avoid any run-ins with wedding guests you don’t exactly want to make small talk with while you’re disrobing - happened to me and my sister SO many times. And you can take as much time as you need, uninterrupted by all the people who’ll be taking trips to the bathroom through the night.
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These tips all help for the 🚽. But if you want to MacGyver something on your own or buy something to help, we totally support these hacks (IKEA bag, garbage bag DIY dress saver, even the Bridal Buddy). #Somethingborrowed, right?!?!!