How to Get Along Real Well With Your Flower Girl
I’ve said it a few times before, but I never had a flower girl - and it still makes me 😢 when I think about the cuteness factor I could have had had there been a tiny one in tow. But enough on that, flower girls are the sweetest, and just thinking about their adorable outfits and larger-than-life attitudes and personalities gives us all the feels. I can’t wait to see my sister’s flower girl and my son (who will be ring bearer) team up in the fall, they’re def going to steal just a LITTLE bit of the spotlight away from my sister… and she’s okay with it, just because they’re her niece and nephew. The rest of us, on the other hand, won’t even think about stealing thunder. Otherwise, we can kiss our bridesmaid asses buhbyeeeeee.
We put together some tips to help brides out there vibe with their mini-est bridal party member(s), because it’s not all rainbows and unicorns all the time (though, a nice unicorn thank you gift certainly can’t hurt). Take our cues, and we promise, you’ll have one of the most stylish small-fry squads around. With the least amount of tears. That’s the goal, too, no tears.
Make sure you ask her nicely
Unless your petal patrol is crawling with infants who haven’t exactly formed opinions on anything yet, you’ll still need to impress the younger girls with your ask before they say yes. So, make sure you have something creative in mind to win her over. Start with a cute ‘will you be my’ kind of card (my niece loveeees puzzles, so had she been in the world when we got married, that’s how I would have asked her), and then involve some kind of toy or sweet treat. Wedding sugar cookies definitely work! For the older ones who get the ‘sisterhood’ feel of the bridesmaid squad, it also might be sweet to go old school BFF/best friend friendship bracelet-style and say that you have a bracelet/anklet/necklace that matches theirs. They’re now officially part of the tribe.
Let her have some say on the dress, within reason
I’ve yet to meet a flower girl who hasn’t said she’s wanted to look like a princess at the wedding. That being said, princess gowns can get a little extra, extra fast. Remember Lily in the early days of Modern Family? Her fiberoptic-heavy fairy dress for her dads’ friends’ wedding was ALL kinds of loud. So, when you’re making decisions about the dress she/they’ll wear, make sure you’re tying it into your overall bridal aesthetic (copacetic with the bridesmaids color palette, or cosmetic ‘I Do’ hues - blushes, ivories, champagnes - to match yours), but leaving room for some creative direction from the bite-size boss. She might have some really insightful feedback, or she’ll push for something with a little too much glitter, in which case you can put your foot down and reassure her that one day she’ll be happy she didn’t wear an actual Disney ensem or favorite Halloween costume down the aisle.
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Treat her to a showroom experience
These days, most brides give the flower girls’ mamas some direction, and they do the shopping themselves (especially if they’re babies/toddlers, it’s tough to run out for coffee, let alone a dress appointment). But if we’re really talking up ways for brides to bond with their not-yet-adult attendants, we’d recommend setting up a special trip to the ‘big girl’ bridal salon or showroom. Talk about princess treatment!! She/they can try on the actual dress, do some twirls, catwalk a bit, and revel in all that sparkle, without all the pressure that their older counterparts feel when bridesmaid dress shopping. Little ones aren’t jaded yet, they don’t (or SHOULDN’T) have any of the insecurities that typical bride squads do when trying on dresses/looking in the mirror, etc. And they’ll appreciate the special day SO much.
Trust her with even more responsibilities
Okay, there really isn’t much she can mess up, when she’s prettied up in the perfect dress, has her hair done, her nails painted, and a basket full of petals with her name on it - ready to be tossed upon the aisle. She’s got all eyes on her, and she’s going to be flippin' adorable no matter what. But to turn things up all the more, if you know she’s ready for a more junior bridesmaid-type of role, then let her have it! Have her help you get dressed, put your veil on, stand in all the grownup girl group shots, and even walk you down the aisle. Well… fluffing your dress from behind. If she’s sassy, she’ll love all the extra attention, and she’ll feel proud that she helped get you to the altar on-time and looking your best.
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Do right by her mama
This is a biggie, especially if the teeny ones in your tribe are still super attached to the ones that brought them into the world (and what girl isn’t?). At the end of the day, if you’re the bride and you get along famously with your flower girl’s mother, you shouldn’t have any problems - smooth sailing. But alternately, if you don’t, you can expect some things to go south when you ask her mini me to be a part of the party. She’s the one who ultimately accepts the role, she’s the one who’ll be paying for the dress (plus any accessories, hair+makeup, nails, etc.), she’s the one making sure her little sweetheart makes it to pictures on time - and in a HAPPY mood - so, it’s imperative that you play nice with her. And if it means she’ll keep your flower girl from having a total meltdown on the aisle, then you damn well better make sure she’s also got a mimosa in hand and some snacks in sight during the getting ready portion of the day.