How to Be a Great Bridesmaid When You’re Knocked Up
Alright, so we may have seen the most amazing thing ever this morning. Something that we hopeeee catches on with all the currently-pregnant bridesmaids out there. If you can’t be there ((and you never know, you can plan on giving birth a month or two later than your sister, friend, cousin’s wedding, and then nature takes its course - and you have to trade helping a bride into her gown with putting on your own and pushing a watermelon out your flower, instead of holding them in your hand)), you should make an attempt to attend in spirit OR virtually attend via a robot.
YUP. A 🤖🤖🤖
Here are the highlights
And thank you Good Morning America for putting this on our radar:- Elizabeth Dubow of Denver, CO, had her baby girl 6 days before her sister’s wedding (and while we can all hope for a miraculous Kate Middleton/Blake Lively-style bounce back - to make it out of the hospital in record time… to attend something as big as a wedding: it doesn’t happen that easily)
- She was crushed to have to bail on her sister on her big day, but amazingly, Anna (the bride) pushed aside any salty feelings and realized she couldn’t get mad at her sister for physically missing their marriage. I mean, she had an adorable new niece, that must have been some sort of consolation…
Like a true woman warrior and badass Matron of Honor, Elizabeth (along with her husband) figured out a way to still be a part of the festivities: having her sister rent a robot that she could ride along with all night long.
Picture Phil Dunphy in that episode of Modern Family where he has to watch Alex’s graduation vis-à-vis a live video feed from his iPad, attached to a segway. This is exactly what Elizabeth did. She came to the rehearsal dinner, rolled down the aisle, shared her MOH speech, and mixed and mingled with the guests as if she were actually there.
Everyone at the wedding freakin loveeeeed it, and both the bride and groom felt like “she was there the whole day. It was unbelievable."
Please see for yourself, it’s amaze
https://www.youtube.com/supported_browsers?next_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DjtpMg4FTBW0
There can definitely be some weird feelings between a bride and her pregnant bridesmaid - some even give their bridesmaids some rules to follow (i.e. either be pregnant for 5 minutes, hella preggers - so you don’t look ‘kinda’ fat, give birth months before, or don’t be pregnant by the time I get married, because this is my day, you already had yours) to ensure no thunder is stolen. But for bridesmaids who will be pregnant during the wedding planning process, or need to take a raincheck on the day itself, because of an unexpected early arrival, we’ve come up with a few ways to let your brides know that you’re still in it with them.
How to show you’re still her ride-or-die, just with your own ride-or-die on the inside:
Shout out your status early on
If you haven’t gotten pregnant yet, but plan to start trying for a family, or if you just learned you’re growing a tiny human inside, but haven’t started showing yet, make a date with your bride and tell her upfront, real fast ((of course, keeping in mind that you want to keep things hush hush until it’s ‘safe’ to start telling anyone)). Let her know that you love her, and want to be part of the wedding, but you also need to be considerate of your condition - it’s not a condition, obvi, we know - and may not be 100% yourself, especially during the first trimester (when you’re vomiting for 3-4 months straight). If you can also make a suggestion about dresses / fabrics / silhouettes that you’d feel comfortable in and know would fit your friend’s aesthetic and look good on everyone, then definitely do it! The pregnant bridesmaid dress sitch is probs the hardest part of the picture; even moreso when you want those 👌group shots.
Be the mom you’re about to be, but still help her party
Okay, so we’re not saying you have to turn up with the bride and the rest of her tribe, especially when who knows how craze things are gonna get at that bachelorette party, but if you can hang ((and ALL the props to you if you can)), show up, potentially even step up as a designated driver - to waive all those Uber surge prices - and if called for, be the mom the group needs. Make sure they party safely, dry their tears if anyone has meltdowns, and clean up the messes if they happen. You’re going to be doing it with your own babe soon enough, so you can always start practicing.
Drive if you can’t fly
One of our own will be joining #TeamMama come this December, and she’s still doing the best she can as a bridesmaid for her cousin’s wedding. By the time the wedding comes around, and she’s well into third trimester territory, it won’t be safe for her to fly, but she’s not letting that stop her from making it to the altar. Instead of a quick flight to the wedding locale, she and her hubby are driving LONGGGG DISTANCE. Being pregnant and in the car for that long will suck, badlyyy (I couldn’t be in the car for longer than 20 minutes when I was with child), but a road trip with your baby daddy can’t be too bad of a thing. You can at least use that time to strategize your birth plan or put together a killer playlist for the hospital…
Send a special gift if you can’t stand in
If your little one has decided to make his/her debut a lot sooner than you thought, then for sure, you’ll need to be close to the hospital for delivery. Or if the baby is already here, but you’re in recovery or resting easy at home with a newborn, you def won’t be making it to the wedding. Your bride should understand, you really can’t stop the baby train, but instead of just saying ‘whoops, I can’t be there for ya, hope it’s a good day!’ send a gift to say ‘I’m thinking of you, lady, and can’t wait to hear ALL about it.’ There are tons of apps now that let you send on-demand gifts, and we’re thinking about those drinky drinks on demand, specifically. How many bridesmaid points would you score for sending some makings for mimosas or bellinis from Drizly or Minibar? Along with a note that says “I can’t be here to get ready with you/drink with you before you say ‘I Do,’ but pleaseeeeee have one on me. I’ll love you for it!!’
Provide a surrogate
My sister-in-law will be having baby #2 a few months before my brother-in-law's (her brother’s) wedding, so she gracefully bowed out of the bridesmaid brigade. Totally get it, she’ll be dealing with lots of feedings, poop and newborn cry fests, so it doesn’t really make sense to be serving as a bridesmaid. But even though she won’t be in the bridal party, she’s ‘volunteering’ my niece as flower girl. I guess, if you can’t serve as wingwoman, sending a sassy little flower girl in your place works just as well!