5 Things that are YOUR Responsibility in a Relationship
Every relationship has a different dynamic, but we are all human. We're wired to protect and defend ourselves. Sometimes we appear strong and sometimes fragile. Love and be loved, that's the goal and really the meaning of life, isn't it? I've been learning a lot of the past few years and though I struggle putting my own advice into practice, I know that these five things can and will improve and strengthen any relationship.
Some relationships look perfect from the outside, but they really aren't. If someone says they have a perfect relationship, they are lying. I'm not saying there aren't a ton of really strong and meaningful relationships out there, I'm just saying that even those couples have conflict and being able to resolve that conflict is the key. Enjoy these celebrity couples who have made love last and probably do a lot of what's mentioned below. Please feel free to leave your advice below on what it takes to have a healthy relationship, I'd love to hear.
being honest about your feelings
Can you be completely honest about your feelings to your partner? I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling "less than" in a relationship and my partner asks how I am I automatically default to "I'm fine." It's so much easier to deny than it is to face the issues. It would be really healthy if I could say "Hey, I'm actually pissed or hurt or whatever because this happened." Say the words that describe how you feel, it's really hard but it will get easier.
Managing Your Own Triggers
Managing your own triggers is your job. Oh, the triggers. This triggers me, that triggers me, everything triggers me. Your triggers are YOUR triggers. It's not your partner's job to manage your triggers. It's yours. We all have triggers. I suppose that some of them developed from childhood trauma, early friendships, and I'm sure we have all amassed a whole arsenal from past relationships. Remember that they are your problem and no one else's. How empowering and effective would it be to recognize your own trigger and create a resolution yourself.
Meeting your partner's needs
Are you willing to meet your partner's needs even if it means your needs aren't met 100% of the time? Do you listen to what your partner's wants and needs are? Can you meet their needs - or will you - we are a stubborn bunch and it's hard to do things that aren't our ideas. You know this is true. I don't like to do anything that anyone tells me, it hurts my ego for some reason (let's be honest that it's probably a trigger from over the years). It's a matter of whether we WANT to make our partner happy even if isn't exactly what we want.
Being Clear About Your Expectations
Are you clear about your expectations? None of us can guess what's going on in our partner's mind. Just tell your partner what you want and need. It will clear up a lot of gray area and if they can't give you what you need, you can have a discussion about it. If you can communicate your expectations, you've done your part - what's done on the other end is out of your hands.
Not making excuses
Are you making excuses for your behavior? I do this because of that. It's just the way I am. Here's an excuse for my behavior. My past experiences make it hard to be honest about my feelings or make it difficult to communicate or whatever it is. What if we start saying our experiences shape us instead of mess up? We are we so eager to feel so messed up when in reality every single person is messed up in some way. It's totally normal to be messed up. It's just an excuse for us to behave a certain way when we use that as an excuse. We are all full of cop outs and excuses, we instead need to face our issues and feel uncomfortable for a minute and communicating with people.
Love and be loved, that's what it's about. It's when we can start accepting people exactly as they are, that's when we can have meaningful relationships.
5 important things to discuss before you get married and how to communicate with your significant other.
If you need motivation of any sort, Tony Robbins is your guy. How sweet that he officiated the wedding of his dear friends?