3+ Things We Learned from Colton’s Bachelor Premiere
I hate January, guys, literally HATE it. But there is one thing that’s managed to warm me up to a season of no holidays, sickness flying around, sickeningly-cold temps, and Moana-free Netflix - and that’s Colton Underwood. Ugh, I’ve been all about him since Becca’s season, cooled my obsession just a bit when he started dating Tia on BIP (I just never was her biggest fan, no reasons really, just felt kind of 😒meh about her), and had my love for him completely reignited last night during his Bachelor premiere. He is adorable. So so so so sooooooo adorable. And I’m super psyched about this season. Plus, I just have an amazing feeling that he’s going to end up with Cassie, and I love her. Colton+Cassie forever.
Now, obvi my thoughts might change over the next couple of months, but I consider my Bachelor Nation radar to be pretty spot on…. Sooooo, let’s just hope she doesn’t do anything between now and then to put a wrench in my predictions.
Anyhow, now back to the episode. As many times as Becca ‘doing the damn thing’ was brought up on day one of her Bach season, Colton not doing the damn thing was brought up so much more. And I get it, he’s the first-ever virgin Bachelor, so it’s a huge deal, but did it really have to monopolize the entire three hours? I guess so, and there will be nooo slowing down on those virgin references from now until the fantasy suites happen. ((Is it wrong, though, that I kind of hope whether this dude does the deed with any one of the remaining three remains a litttttle bit of a secret?!?))
As I watched last night, I tried to distill some of the biggest highlights into a kind of rule book for blind dates. Of course, The Bachelor is hardly an example of true blind date/meeting-for-the-first-time courtship, because all of these girls would be at a serious disadvantage if they didn’t do at least a little recon on their main man. But for daters IRL, these are a few overarching pointers for making future dates more reckonable realities.
And here’s what I came up with:
Independence is hella sexy.
As if this wasn’t a readily known thing already, Colton’s cast made it pretty clear. One of the three aired kisses between Colton and his contestants, the one with Katie, was preempted by a conversation about strong and independent women. Katie shared that she was super close with her family (something that she and Colton easily bonded about) and looked up to the solid love and friendship between her 30-years-married parents, but that she also appreciated ‘me’ time in a relationship. She said something along the lines of “he should have his thing, I should have my thing, and then we come together for our own thing.” And he loved it! She started off the season on a really strong foot, and it kind of seems like Colton dug her self-assuredness.
Also… not saying that fairy tale/Prince Charming chivalry is dead, but Cinderella and her missing shoe did go home. #sorrynotsorry.
Being playful about a boy’s habits can only help.
Okay, so, virginity was a hugeeee talking point last night, and some of the girls took advantage as quickly as they could (cherry balloon popping, V-card stealing, etc.), but one of the most successful first impressions came from Hannah G. who showed up with a box full of CU’s favorite underwear. It was empty, if you didn’t see it, making a cheeky reference to his public admission of not loving underwear on BIP last season. He laughed and thought it was sweet and flirty and all kinds of adorable. He also mentioned, shortly after Hannah came through, that he loved how sleuthy his girls were, how some of them did their homework to show that they know something about him and care to learn more. And this taught us all that playful teasing is 👍; what better way to flirt with a virgin than by joking about his underwear(wood?) preferences, or lack thereof.
Once you start taking things too far, though, like putting on a sloth costume and committing hardcore to the ‘he takes it slow’ cause, things get weird. Sloth/Alex D. from Cape Cod left 130000 X’s faster than she arrived, and we can’t say that we were mad at Colton for making it happen. Bye Felicia!
Cutting in on someone else’s crush time isn’t the worst.
So, alright, Catherine definitely wasn’t my favorite to watch last night - and I definitely don’t think she’s going to make it that far into the competition - but she did manage to make an impression on Colton. He could have saved one of the other ladies who didn’t interrupt his meetup time with 29 other beautiful women 12 times, but he didn’t, he saved her. And he gave her the last 🌹, too, so he certainly struggled with some dissonance over whether she was worthy of another week in the mansion or just a little too annoying and villainous to keep around - yet decided to keep the door open. Even AFTER she asked him to take care of her 10-year-old dog daughter while she was competing for his heart. Dare we say that Colton has a little bit of thing for girls who DGAS about anyone else? Well, only if he’s still the #1 priority. And seems like he is, for the time being.
Other honorable mentions for first impression+first date wins:
Make sure you ask him about his glory days.
This is another thing Hannah G. did SO well! She asked Colton what was scarier, being Bachelor or being in the NFL, and it was a fab way for her to show, again, how much she took an interest in his life/his past/what made him happy, etc.
Turn him into a dancer and you’ll turn him on for life.
We’ve talked about this before, but dancing together is a surefire way to stay together, and former NBA dancer, Sydney, obviously understood this. Because she used her time to teach a self-described ‘horrible dancer’ how to slow dance. And it was so sweet and endearing to watch. These two have chemistry, for sure.
Admitting you’re nervous and he’s the reason, it helps.
Cassie had one of our favorite intros of the night, showing up with a box full of plastic butterflies and saying, so simply, that he gave her them 🦋🦋🦋. So flippin' cute. He even kept one of them and put it in his suit jacket. There’s nothing wrong with showing some vulnerability, it means that you care and hope for the best outcome! So, don’t be afraid of it. It’s attractive and shows that you’re human!