No, You Don’t Have to Have a Bridal Shower
Okay, chicks, so it’s 2019. We’re finally going to come right out and say that wedding traditions can either be embraced or dismissed - and either way, it’s totally okay. So many brides get caught up in what they’re “expected” to do with their weddings, but we’re here to tell you that the only thing you’re expected to do is enjoy the whole wedding planning experience, appreciate the people who have gone above and beyond to make sure you HAVE enjoyed it, love and respect your fiancé, and try to stay cognizant of the reason you’re even having a wedding in the first place: because you’re ready to take that next step in your relationship and you’re both committed to your future together. All this said, we’re always fortunate to hear from our brides - in our Wedding Chicks Brides Facebook Group - and hope we can answer questions/alleviate concerns, offer advice, and put any obligations or pressures to bed, because modern wedding planning is NOT about that life.
Just a few hours ago, one of our brides outright asked if bridal showers were a must - and as much as we love a good shower, we can confidently say that showers are only a suggestion, they’re not a make or break.
Another bride quickly commented back that she didn’t have a bridal shower, and she didn’t miss it, either. She kind of articulated exactly how we feel about the tradition. 1) You don’t have to have a shower and 2) Even if you decide not to have one, you won’t feel all the FOMO.
We all talked about it here, and though the majority of us did have bridal showers, none of us felt like a bridal shower MADE the bride. Like at all. In fact, given the following considerations, a bridal shower doesn’t even make sense. So, if you find yourself checking off a lot of the below boxes/this applies to me, then a bridal shower might not even be part of your pre-wedding picture.
You’ve been living together for a while now, so you’re beyond stocked on the basics.
One of the earliest purposes of the bridal shower was to give brides (and couples overall) an opportunity to receive gifts off of their registry(ies). But if you’ve been roomies for a minute, it’s very possible that you won’t have a need for a registry, and that’s completely okay! Conversely, you may decide on an alternative registry / honeymoon registry, experiences registry, hobbies+activities registry, and come to the conclusion that a bridal shower isn’t necessary for these types of gifts. Why your bucket list is the ultimate wedding gift registry.
You’ve had ample occasions to catch up with your crew and be the center of the celebration.
Whether you had an engagement party or have gone to plenty of brunches with your bridesmaids, friends, and extended family to keep them well apprised of all your pre-aisle preparations, if you’ve found opportunities to connect with your “people” and bond in honor of your bride-hood, then another party doesn't have to be such a prescriptive play. Sure, it’s fun to sip mimosas, play silly games, and eat lots of food with your fam, but it doesn’t have to be in such a formal forum. Actually, the less stress the better!
Oh! And also, the bridal shower and bachelorette are increasingly becoming so intertwined - with lots of brides planning a bridal shower brunch or luncheon following their bachelorette weekend or a balls-to-the-wall bachelorette night out following a fairly tame shower during the day. So, if you’ll be able to revel with your ride or dies in one way or another, you don’t have to double up on the superfluous fetes.
You’re over all the expenses already and don’t need your squad spending either.
Showers aren’t cheap, not in any regard. So, whether you’re footing the bill or have your family and friends handling costs as hosts, the price tag won’t exactly be light for anyone. That’s why if you don’t have a particular predisposition to have one or two more pre-wedding parties, then you don’t have to! From venue to catering costs, gift expenses to favors and experiences for the guests, the line items for even the most modest showers seem unlimited. Even if you aren’t in charge of curating your own shower, some brides still shy away from having parties planned on their behalf. If your mom, mother-in-law, maid/matron of honor, grandmother, etc. aren’t completely shell-shocked about your meh attitude over a bridal shower, then just make sure you’re coming from a supportive place when you decline their offer. Mention that you don’t want them overextending themselves with a wedding still in the near future and other financial responsibilities on the horizon. They might really appreciate your looking out for them.
Sure, bridal showers can seem like a “rite of passage” for brides, but if you can comfortably move past that misconception, then you’ll be in a much better position to be okay with nixing it from your list of nuptials needs.
Final takeaways
In our rundown of 8 things that really happen at a bridal shower, nothing really stood out as something that a bride would mourn not having experienced: total gluttony, a white wardrobe, gifts, games...
Nothing that bottomless brunch with your best girls and favorite family members can’t solve…. That or an amazing bachelorette with a white-for-the-bride-ONLY dress code, lingerie, sex toys, and ALL the actual smartest beauty and wellness gifts a girl squad can get for their bride-to-be.